DMV Offices To Close Permanently

DMV Offices To Close Permanently

With the defeat of Proposition 1A and the previous furloughs of state employees and closing of the DMV on Fridays, Gov. Schwarzenegger has finally realized how many state employees are permanently expendable and by cutting them and their departments he can save the state billions of dollars without cutting essential services because most do not provide an essential service. In this year’s new persona who is trying to raise taxes in a complete departure from who he was last year, Schwarzenegger said that one of the most cost effective cuts will be the Department of Motor Vehicles. What is the service in selling us a painted piece of sheet metal at a very large price? A gift store could supply the same item for $9.95 and you would get a wind chime attached to boot. The governor has found that if they keep a small group of employees in an office building in Sacramento to rake in internet and mail-in transactions and close all the field offices, they will generate a substantial amount of money and that was even before the new taxes. The big question is, “Why do you have to re-register a car after you’ve already registered the car?” Does any body think the state forgot they did it or lost the records? They will continue to re-register and re-register cars year after year for no good reason other than they want the money and this way they will actually realize a profit for the state since they don’t have the costs of all the employees and offices. Under the “Truth In Naming Law”, re-registering a vehicle will have to be called the re-taxing of a vehicle. The cut employees will either transfer to the Department of Daylight Savings Time or have to get a better attitude and useful jobs which will lead the revitalization of California business by them doing something productive and cutting the state’s payroll and pension obligation. To address anyone’s concerns about not having DMV offices, when students reach driving age, the driver training instructors will be certified to decide if the kid can drive safely or not. If they can, they get a license that they can pay to renew and renew through the mail or internet for no good reason (unless they forget how to drive) other than to send money to Sacramento. If they can’t drive safely, they don’t get a license. For us oldies to renew, the DMV will send out a renewal letter in very fine print. If you can read it, understand it and return it with enough money, you get to keep your license. Best of all, Californians will be happier because they never again have to go to the DMV and get ticked off. Hopefully this is just the first of many good things to come. If anyone misses the festive atmosphere of waiting at the DMV, they can go spend a couple of hours in a downtown bus station somewhere, go visit the local parole board or volunteer for immediate jury duty.

©2009 Eric Stamets

Swine Flu

Swine Flu

In the interest of the political correctness of not wanting to insult pigs or pig farmers and the implied associations by those who catch it, the World Health Organization (WHO) has announced that swine flu will no longer be called swine flu, but will be called by its scientific name for the virus “H1N1 influenza A” (pronounced “Heini influenza A”). Why should we expect that any disease associated with a heini should not be very bad? They will also refer to it as “porcine influenza” so that most people won’t know what they’re talking about. They have gone overboard to emphasize that being around pigs has not been a cause of the spread, so yes, you can go ahead and get in the mud with them like usual. I had the flu last week and it had all the symptoms of swine flu. When the doctor asked me where I had been I said, “Only to my exercise class”. She concluded that I was not suffering from swine flu, but if I got it in class, from “old goat flu”. It has been shown that the genetic makeup of the virus is 3/4 swine, 1/8 human and 1/8 bird giving rise to the name suggestion of “homoavianporcine influenza” which is so hard to pronounce that no one would think of getting it. It shows a much closer relationship between humans and pigs and birds and pigs. It is being suggested in scientific circles that this is a demonstration that humans are descended from pigs and not apes as has been thought. With allowance for just a little bit more evolution, the pig-bird association will prove the old adage repeated by some that “We will have a black president when pigs fly”.

©2009 Eric Stamets

Proposition 1A

Proposition 1A

Sometime in the last few years California went bankrupt but never formally declared it. The masked Sacramento Kid, Gov. Schwarzenegger wants to raise (oh. sorry, extend- that’s how you sneak it in like a serpent without a 2/3 vote) taxes for two more years plus hijack the strongbox on the state lottery so when the state actually declares bankruptcy, a new governor will be in place and it will be their fault, not his. Actually it’s not taxes, it’s not revenues- it’s resources we’re voting on. In other words they are going to be selling the countertops and doors from the state capitol to raise money. Many people went bankrupt this last year and now the governor wants them to pay more in taxes. The state’s situation is akin to a car trying to get out of a parking place without Prop. 1A and rams into the car in front. Then with Prop. 1A the car is shifted into reverse and rams the car behind it. Proposition 1A is simply a shell game but not quite as big of a Ponzi scheme as Madoff’s. I tried to read the actual proposition and gave up- it’s impossible. Is BSF short for B.S. Fund? The only thing I understand about the “Deficit Recovery Bond Retirement Sinking Fund Subaccount” is the word “sinking”. What really got my dander up are the dishonest TV ads for Prop. 1A. We are supposed to feel sorry for little Johnny whose education will suffer without 1A. Listen mister, half of the little Johnny’s are great kids and doing well in school right now and the other half are punks because their parents don’t care (except when the kid gets called for being a punk and the parents can steam into school complaining). I still pay my taxes supporting the kids in school now, but I’ve had it with my kids. I sent two wonderful sons to the University of California and they sucked me dry. If I had a net income of $3.59 I get no financial assistance (except for loans- that’s assistance? I call it encumbrance). If I had made $o, the state would have paid much of the cost. I wish I hadn’t worked those two extra hours and went home to relax instead. Then there’s the fireman, in the station, who’s not smart enough to wash his face before going on TV. Wonderful use of $10 million. Anyway Proposition 1A won’t qualify based on the Truth In Naming Law we passed. It would have to be labeled “Budget Bailout Bigger Than General Motors, Promising Everything With No Certainty Except For Increased Taxes”. The summary of the proposition claims to raise $16 billion more revenue but doesn’t mention taxes. Let me check what’s in my wallet... sorry, don’t have it.

©2009 Eric Stamets

Enemy Combatants Or Whatever They Are To Be Moved

Enemy Combatants Or Whatever They Are To Be Moved

Much controversy has surrounded the moving, from Guantanamo in Cuba, of the enemy
combatants or whatever they are called that were taken into custody while trying to kill American or our allies’ soldiers. One of the high profile locations being investigated is the brig at Camp Pendleton. However there has been a torrent of objections from the many people living in the north coastal area of San Diego County to that possibility and they want to find a different location for the prisoners. The Marines discovered that the Old Julian Jail was not being used at all and that there also were not that many people in Julian to complain and so will be sending some of the prisoners here to Julian. Most agree it’s time the jail was put to good use. Obviously the jail won’t hold all the prisoners and so other locations will have to be selected like the old Yuma Territorial Prison, which is also not housing any prisoners at this time. The Julian Jail was recently upgraded and restored and so provided an attractive alternative. It is seen as a real boon in business for Julian restaurants, since there are no kitchen facilities at the jail and all
meals would have to be catered. The only benefit to the other businesses would probably be the Julmo tee shirts that could be sold, but at least a little stimulus would come to Julian.

©2009 Eric Stamets