Population Increase For Julian Seen Because of Global Warming

Population Increase For Julian Seen Because of Global Warming
After last week’s massive tidal flooding and because of the exceptional rise in sea level expected next week due to global warming, many residents that live right on the beach are fleeing and abandoning their houses. Understandably these demoralized people are now refusing to live anywhere near the water and so are seeking the highest point to retreat and watch the inundation. The County of San Diego has estimated that twenty to thirty thousand people will be moving into the Julian area next week. Several new schools are being built using portable classrooms. It will be very interesting to see Julian have two home town high school football teams to compete with each other, and eleven man at that. The new mascot name has not been selected yet, pending the arrival of students, but some suggestions have been “The Gold Rushers” or “The Warcraft Whompers”. There are still some legal issues to sort out such as defacto segregation of current students from flatlanders, although it will help us fulfill our diversity requirement. When these people have been reminded that there is not enough water to support that many people, they countered that they will form a water district to pipe and pump water in from wherever and just pass a tax assessment to pay for it. They only lost their beach house and not their great job and can afford it. Several multi-millionaires that are moving in have banded together and are planning to build their own pipeline from a source more than fifty miles away. Most losses are not covered by insurance, so Governor Schwarzenegger has passed a bond issue for two trillion dollars to cover losses statewide. A new commuter bus line will take most people to work and quite a few industries are also relocating to Julian. When apprised of the fire danger they said, “You can rebuild on burnt land. You can’t rebuild on submerged land. We don’t want to look at the ocean again.” This is considered to be just the tip of the melting iceberg. Next year when global warming really kicks in, the County is expecting more than a hundred thousand more terrified people to move into the area. When presented with the possibility that there is not enough space for that many people, they have said that there is plenty of room for strip shopping centers from Julian all the way to Mt. Laguna and they are proposing to incorporate it as one large city. They also said they will have the votes to do it and definitely have the moral authority to provide for that many people. The County is going to call it Mt. Juliuna and is planning to rename some mountain peak so it makes sense. They are careful to note that they will not allow building in the Cuyamaca State Park until it is absolutely necessary, even if the Schwarzenegger proposal to sell lots and put in a casino there to help balance the budget goes through. When he was told that state park land was never to be developed and casinos were only for Indian lands, he said he didn’t recall hearing that recently, so it was OK. The Santa Ysabel casino has strenuously objected, but now strongly endorses global warming because it ensures their financial security and has built a billboard to say so. All County building regulations and density requirements have had an emergency suspension by the Board of Supervisors. Traffic on Hwy 78 is expected to be severely congested until it is widened to four lanes and the over-pass is built in Santa Ysabel. Starting next week it will be bumper-to-vinyl siding all the way from Ramona as the many modular homes are brought in. Most people have ordered triple or quadruple wides to help remind them of the home they lost. SDG&E is kindly raising all lines crossing Hwy 78 so that the new double highs that are so popular can make the trip. Until their homes are installed, everyone will be staying at the Julian Hotel or Julian Lodge or RVs, which they all have. A new pipe line is being built to Shelter Valley for sewage, which will be held in a temporary holding pond called Earthquake Lake (sorry, no boating or fishing) until the new treatment plant is constructed there. The new system will then hold the North American land and sea record for speed of sewage from house to plant. Shelter Valley is expected to turn into quite a green oasis. There is projected to be an ample supply of salvaged lumber and very nice granite countertops for building. An orderly transition will be appreciated and enforced. ©2008 Eric Stamets