WikiLeaks Founder Gives Julian Bad Name

WikiLeaks Founder Gives Julian Bad Name

Everyone knows by now the name of WikiLeaks since it has been in the news so frequently lately. Google is even thinking about buying WikiLeaks because they could make so much money off of it. Many things today are named by initials or combining words to form a new one. For instance it is thought that WikiLeaks is a combination of the word “wicked” and a nicer word for “p… on you”. The founder of WikiLeaks is some guy named Julian Assange whose last name sounds like a French word combining the word ”ass” with the word “ange” which is evidently the French word for hole. The thing that is so maddening to the U.S. government is that it brings to light the lies, cover-ups and deceit that are carried out by our fine government employees (who will get pensions anyway) and Obama with his change and (we find out now) his all too transparent transparency in government. Add this on top of the insult that WikiLeaks is more secure than our government’s computers. If Julian Assange had just asked any American citizen, they could have filled him in on all the gory details of how the government lies and deceives without going to all the trouble of going through all the thousands of highly classified and coded “cables” that were somehow easily pilfered. Almost all Americans love our country but we must realize that the virtue of our government is that it lies a little bit less than all the others. Fortunately for the town of Julian, the mayor does not use cables to communicate and usually will prefer to chew someone out in person, which leaves no email trail but sometimes bruises. However since this WikiLeaks guy’s first name is Julian, we are getting repercussions in the gift stores and any business that has Julian in the name because of guilt by association. Sales are way down with anything to do with the name Julian and the mayor is mad it is hurting his hometown. Whatever you do, if you have a child in the next year don’t name him Julian or even if it’s a girl, Julia. They’re not in the top 10 dangerous sound alike names like Aiden, Braden, Caden, Hayden, Jayden, Kayden, Payden and al-Qaden for next year, but still give it a year for the controversy to cool off. Due to its notoriety and publicity it is projected that the most popular boys name for 2011 will be Wiki.

©2010 Eric Stamets