Lap Band Billboard Coming To Julian

Lap Band Billboard Coming To Julian

It used to be that you could see the smog drifting down the coast from L.A. and engulf San Diego in a horrible brown stench in addition to San Diego’s own smog. It occasionally could reach as far up as Julian and in spite of L.A. not being smog free it is markedly better with the pollution controls on vehicles than it was in the seventies and eighties. However there is one horrendous pollutive entity that I noticed on my last trip (which could be my last trip) to L.A. On every freeway there were non-stop billboards for lap bands and at the time I had no idea what a lap band was. Now I first heard about “lap dances” when some City of San Diego councilmen were ousted for receiving bribes from one of the adult places where they illegally did this a few years ago. I still truly have no idea exactly what a lap dance is, only it just doesn’t appeal to me to have a woman with almost no clothing on, that I don’t even know or want to know dancing on my lap with spikey high heels. So when I first saw the lap band billboards my mind went ballistic thinking of how this would be more rock and roll than anyone could handle. I soon decided that would be too much for even the largest lap to have a rock band playing on it and from the wording of the signs they must have had something to do with losing weight, since the percentage of overweight Americans is legend around the world. I envisioned it as a band you put on very tightly around your waist like a cummerbund to discourage you from eating too much. I have since learned (I’m still capable of that), that a lap band is surgically implanted around the stomach to restrict how much food a person consumes and is only approved for use in people who have not been able to lose weight through diet and exercise. The procedure is relatively easy and safe and will probably be approved for use in tattoo parlors soon. I finally heard a radio ad about the procedure and it is only a matter of time before these billboards that are spilling down the coast get even closer. Ramona has billboards already that could be used and the Santa Ysabel casino pioneered billboards in this area. Julian overall has a pretty svelte group of residents, but once they find that overweight person, here comes the lap band billboard with a ferocity never shown by even Coke or Pepsi.

©2011 Eric Stamets