Julian Declared Holiest Town In U.S.

Julian Declared Holiest Town In U.S.

It seemed like it was a long time coming, but in May, after drilling one more hole in Main St., Julian surpassed our nearest rival in becoming the holiest town in the U.S. With more certain to come, it will be tough for any other town to beat this record. There have been so many holes drilled in the past years, that some people are concerned that too much has been removed and downtown Julian could collapse. The drilling company assures everyone that Julian is sitting very securely on what was once solid rock and that there is no need for any concern whatsoever, unless there is a severe earthquake. In that instance the weaknesses might fracture and allow one side of Main St. to conveniently slide a little closer to the beach. At this point, who knows who the lucky property owners would be. The drillers are scheduled for a presentation to the Planning Group seeking approval for construction of a small shrine to the drilling record at Main and Washington. It would be modest and consist of a couple of core samples that the drillers would kiss as they left town, in the hopes of returning for more. In expectation of the record verification, everyone is holding their breath, hoping that testing will not show any performance enhancers in the water.

©2008 Eric Stamets