Drunk Donkeys Terrorize Julian, Cal.

Drunk Donkeys Terrorize Julian, Cal.

As always, the Grape Stomp at Menghini Winery was great fun and a success. Inadvertently however, someone left several large buckets of the crushed grapes out after the fest. One night last week, a couple of donkeys strayed from their enclosure and found their way to Menghini’s, no doubt drawn by some interesting odor. They consumed a great quantity of the fermented grapes with very predictable results. The donkeys became extremely energized and unpredictable. They left Menghini’s looking for some fun and because of the loud ruckus, were seen swimming nude in a nearby pond. Then by chance they happened upon the road leading to town. Upon entering town, it was so late that everything was closed, but they did find some local habitués sitting around on some benches and so gave vigorous chase. They also happened upon some late night skateboarders on the sidewalks and had some special fun with them with the end result clearing the town of anybody on the streets. They then made life difficult for the person who loads the newspaper dispensers at night and for the bakers arriving at that late hour to bake pies for the next day. The bakers were chased into their shops and couldn’t come out to their cars and so they called the sheriff. If you are a baker and don’t recall this happening, it was your night off. The donkeys then randomly roamed around town and may have broken up a crime in progress. By the time the sheriff arrived, the donkeys had tired of the fun and games and had wandered back home. Their owner found them collapsed and sound asleep the next morning in their pen with the gate wide open and with an implied “Do not disturb” look upon their faces. The sheriff is looking into whether there is a way to deputize them.

©2008 Eric Stamets