SDG&E Loses Soul

SDG&E Loses Soul

Everyone knows that no matter what religious or non-religious persuasion you are, that a soul is the most important thing there is. A corporation is a legal entity that allows a large number of people to loan just a little bit of their soul to a business so that they, as individuals, won’t get their butts sued if the business does something wrong. Recently SDG&E has discovered that they misplaced their corporate soul. If not found, it won’t significantly affect most shareholder’s souls, since they each contribute a very small part. Some larger shareholder’s souls could be severely impacted, though. SDG&E probably put their’s into storage or hiding at some past time when they were involved in a project that their soul strenuously objected to. SDG&E has many storage buildings and sub-stations with good hiding places and it could now be covered with dust and unrecognizable. They could have folded it very tightly and placed it in a magnetic keyholder under one of their trucks. The truck might have ended its service life and was sold. Their soul could be unknowingly at work every day at some Mexican utility. SDG&E authorities are now trying to act concerned and are endeavoring to replace the lost soul before some upcoming PUC hearings make them look very bad as being the only one in the room with no soul. They also think that the loss of their soul can explain the illogical and erratic decisions they have made lately. You can see SDG&E executives in suits and shiny shoes and lower minions in green polo shirts with logo scouring Kobey’s Swap Meet every weekend in the hopes that someone found their soul and will sell it back to them. They also created a full time position to search Ebay but have only succeeded in buying some used trucks back from themselves. They would even settle for a used soul from a suitably large company that has gone out of business, such as Enron. When we remarked, “That’ll cost the company quite a bit and might require a rate hike,” the executive replied, “That’ll be no problem.”

©2008 Eric Stamets