Too Many Czars Spoil The Pot

Too Many Czars Spoil The Pot

It seems like we’ve been taken over by the Russians. A while back the federal government was talking about an energy czar, then we have a drug czar, a couple of months ago they appointed a border czar and now they’ve come up with a cyberczar. The United States is suffering from czar build-up. President Obama reiterated that the United States doesn’t cybertorture, although he had no alternative to the fact that trying to get a computer to work properly can be pure torture. I’ve always had the impression that a czar was like the king or emperor of Russia who rode roughshod over the general populace until they rose up, killed him and his family and buried the remains in an unmarked grave. I’m not sure I would like to have the czar job no matter how much it pays, even with a cushy pension. Plus the word “czar” is etymologically derived from the Latin ”caesar” and remembering our history, Julius Caesar didn’t fare too well either. I don’t have a better term right off-hand, but the word commissioner sounds too much like Chicago gangster politics and has the equivalent of “commissar” in Russian. The United States has always had a president, the meaning of which is derived from the root words “presi”, as in “present” or “shows up” and “dent” as in “dental”. That means the main qualification of our leader is that he or she shows up with good teeth. The good hair was discredited with the impeachment of Rod Blagojevich. The vice president has to show up with good teeth but is allowed a few vices as long as he keeps his mouth shut. After all the stink about the English Parliament members and their outlandish expenses, there was an article in the Wall Street Journal about the expenses of U.S. congressmen (and women). All of our House of Representative expenses are legitimate, however, because they are overseen by the House chief administrative officer Daniel Beard, who has flunky non-chief administrative officers that do the work. Mr. Beard had to hire House chief administrative officer spokesman Jeff Ventura to tell us that they can deny an expense that is inappropriate, but that they don’t keep records on inappropriate claims. Mr. Beard is too busy to speak for himself. The Senate has a similar procedure. Why do we have to have similar procedures and a duplicate bureaucracy to do the same thing? Who cares- it’s the American way. And let’s keep good old American names for our officials. We don’t need any spokes czars.

©2009 Eric Stamets