Differences Between Julian Residents and Flatlanders (Citydwellers)

Differences Between Julian Residents and Flatlanders (Citydwellers)
It doesn’t matter if you have a horse on an acre in Lakeside- you’re, to put it politely, a citydweller

1. If a citydweller has an obnoxious neighbor out your back door, next street over playing loud music late at night, they have no idea who they’re calling the police on- if we have the problem in Julian, we know exactly who we’re turning in.
2. When citydwellers visit Julian, they feel they’re visiting a place that’s different. When Julian residents visit the city, they fell they’re visiting a place that’s all the same.
3. When a citydweller goes to Whole Foods, they usually drive or nowadays the conservation minded ride their bike or walk there. When a Julian resident needs to go to Whole Foods, they go out back of the house and either pick it or dig it up.
4. A citydweller is afraid to live so far away from the doctors. A Julian resident has a snake bite kit for whatever ails you.
5. At the post office a citydweller passes by everyone with glazed eyes, not saying a word. Picking up your mail in Julian is a great daily social occasion.
6. Almost all citydwellers that have vehicles with 4-wheel-drive have never used it. You know darn well the Julian residents with 4-wheel-drive have used it and have pulled a citydweller out of an icy ditch with it.
7. It warrants even more study, but so far scientists have found at least 12 differences in the DNA between citydwellers and Julian residents.
8. Mountain folk drive a lot faster- we don’t have freeways.

©2009 Eric Stamets