Julian Mayor’s Job Outsourced

Julian Mayor’s Job Outsourced

Because the pending trial on the indictment of Julian’s mayor is proceeding very slowly, for the time being the official duties are being outsourced. A spokesman said, “Since the mayor does almost nothing, we got a real good deal online with a place in Sri Lanka.” The mayor has been very indignant about the whole process and loudly asked, “How much money did this Sri Lankan guy raise for the last election? It’s a critical time in Julian. What does he know about the electric undergrounding that’s going on now and then the tunnel bypass? We need strong leadership right here on Main Street, standing in front of Lou’s. If you pay him he’ll probably flip and if you pay him a little more he’d flop. There’s even bigger things coming, but they’re hush hush right now. We need someone right here who knows how to raise a lot of money in an election.”

©2008 Eric Stamets