New Wildlife Species Just Discovered In The Future!

New Wildlife Species Just Discovered In The Future!
© 2009 Eric Stamets
The following are animals that will have evolved quickly to meet changes in our environment in the future. If you don’t believe in evolution, they will be created by God to fill their special new environmental niche. Either way, it doesn’t matter- this is what you get and these animals will be discovered in the future.

Junkyard Jackrabbit and Wreckingyard Goat
The Junkyard Jackrabbit lives only in junkyards with their many junked cars now that there is no gasoline. They now nest in old upholstery and can eat any part of a car that is not metal. That place in the ecosystem is occupied by the Wreckingyard Goat. The Wreckingyard Goat gnaws at old rusting fenders of cars and has well adapted hooves for climbing on the tops of cars to take a bite out of an old sunroof. The Wreckingyard Goat’s preferred food is Gremlins, Yugos and Ford Pintos because of the ease in eating the very thin metal. If you accidentally step on the droppings of the Wreckingyard Goat, make sure your tetanus shots are up to date. These species are expected to have enough to subsist on for millions of years.

Freeway Deer
The Freeway Deer is unusual because it lives only on old empty freeways that are unused now that there are, unfortunately, no individual automobiles. It feeds exclusively on the boundless grasses and plants that have sprung up in the cracks in the pavement. Their hooves have evolved into a skid proof type that is only suitable for walking and running on concrete and asphalt pavements. They cannot survive on dirt with rocks. Unfortunately, the very plants they eat will eventually lead to their extinction, for the plants are slowly breaking up the pavement and when the flat pavement is gone, so are the deer. A close relative, the Beercan Deer won’t fare as badly. They have adapted to eating the aluminum beer cans that humans have so thoughtfully left for them over the years by the side of the road- kind of like putting out birdseed. However, some stretches of roadside were made uninhabitable by some over zealous humans who cleaned up the food source. Beercan Deer will also cluster around houses where the occupants watch Monday Night Football. In the future we might have ten to twenty Freeway Deer survive in the National Freeway Museum and a few poorly maintained parking lots. .

Powerline Coyote
The Powerline Coyote is a well documented sub-species that lives only under the old abandoned huge powerlines that brought electricity to us before we were more enlightened and began using mostly the new solar-quasar technology that can take advantage of the solar wind and gamma rays, supplemented with a little nuclear generation. The Powerline Coyote subsists on the birds that are downed by hitting the old electric wires. They have been seen actually plucking birds out of mid air as they fall, much like some dogs catch Frisbees. Because they are a subspecies and there are not many of them, they are classified as endangered. Therefore, under U.S. environmental law, the powerlines remain in place even though unused and ugly. They should be capable of existing anywhere else, alongside other coyotes, but the pickings are too easy and they refuse to budge except to seek water. The alpha Powerline Coyotes live under a line that passes by a pond. The survival of their habitat is ensured since no one, even now that the lines are not used, will build a house near them. The habitat of the regular coyote, however, is very much under stress, since they will build a house anywhere a coyote can go. One would think that after so many birds had hit the wires after all these years, the lines would break. Since the utilities were absolutely paranoid about starting another fire, they made the wires out of a newly developed conductive carbon-titanium composite material that will never break. Only when the utilities started the Hollywood Firestorm that burned down Hollywood, all the movie and TV studios and the stars homes, was there anyone with enough clout to put them out of business. One unnamed ticked-off movie producer simply bought the utility for what value it had left and shut it down. The Powerline Coyote is the same sub-species that lives under the few old wind turbines that are still in use and survives on the resultant birdkill.



Sweet Smelling Skunk
Quite simply, since they were no longer in danger of getting hit on highways, skunks quit smelling horrible. It took a lot of energy and expensive chemicals to smell that bad. When they declared the armistice years ago, their true nature was allowed to shine through and they are now very agreeable in scent. Many people have now been known to lock a skunk in their house just before the arrival of company to make it smell good because it’s cheaper than potpourri.