Old Library Lease Put Out To Bid

Old Library Lease Put Out To Bid

The Old Library building, which was originally a one room schoolhouse at Witch Creek has been used by such groups as the Historical Society after the library moved to their new location. Budget considerations with the County Parks are affecting these seldom used buildings. The Old Library building has had its lease and its naming rights put up for bid to help ease the budget pain. It’s a difficult building to use and so everybody has dropped out of the lease bidding except Jack In The Box and McDonalds. Jack In The Box thinks that they would be a natural tenant, because they could make great use of the bell tower with a Jack bobblehead protruding from it. They fully realize that they would have to remove the stupid dunce cap and have proposed replacing it with either a cowboy hat or a miner’s helmet with light. McDonald’s has two major problems. The historic guidelines don’t allow curved lines, like on their arches and so they have proposed arches with angles and corners. They also realize they can’t use neon lights, so the redesigned arch would be yellow paint on a dark background. Due to site problems, they plan to start the “arches” somewhere by the Catholic Church and end up somewhere by the old museum building. McDonalds is having a horrible time dealing with the fact that they can’t use lower case letters. If they are the successful bidder, Julian would have the only MDONALDS in the world. The naming rights are up for grabs because it’s no longer a library, or a schoolhouse at Witch Creek. An individual could easily buy the naming rights and name the building after themselves or a person from Julian’s past. We could conceivably have the “Henry Silvers” MDONALDS or the “Louie Juch” Jack In The Box. I can already hear the kids talking about going down to the “Juch” to get a Jumbo Jack (pronounced “Yumbo Yack”). Both companies have brought in their grading consultants and have shown they would not have a problem putting a drive-through wherever they want it. They have also said that the Historical Society could still have their meetings there if they buy something. Since the loss of the Subway, Julian has suffered the indignity of being one of the few towns in the U.S. without a chain fast food location. This would ease everyone’s concern that we are being left behind in the 19th century.

©2009 Eric Stamets