Blagojevich Succeeds In Achieving Goal

Blagojevich Succeeds In Achieving Goal

The ex-Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich will finally achieve his goal of making as much money as he could from holding the office of Governor. That is one notch up from having a governor, like California, who is oblivious to everything. He had come to realize that he was in a dead end job when he wasn’t considered as the top choice for Secretary of State by the Obama administration in spite of also being from Illinois and having worked hard at the Kennedy hair. As Secretary of State he figured he could get into harvesting some real big bucks from foreign countries in exchange for foreign aid and influence at the presidential level. Since as governor he wasn’t going to move into something big, he concocted a plan to sell the Senate seat left vacant by Obama’s election but discovered he could only attract blustering egotists with no money. On the advice of his financial planner he arranged to have himself impeached as governor. The notoriety and last week’s book and movie deals that he has worked out as a result will make him millions, far beyond what he ever dreamed he could get from selling a Senate seat. He can now honestly, in his opinion, tell his daughters that he never did sell the Senate seat and took the impeachment hit only to provide for their college education and a house in the Bahamas. The book, announced in the entertainment section and coming out in October, has “Best Seller” written all over it (even I’ll read this one) and will be made into a movie starring, you got it- Tom Cruise because he so desperately wants an Oscar and it will take some serious acting to portray Blagojevich without breaking out laughing. Blagojevich promises to expose all the slimy Illinois politicians and who knows where that will go. It will be akin to the time a captured gangster unmasked the Mafia and we first learned its name was the “Cosa Nostra.” We’ve often wondered what the politicians privately call themselves that gives them the gall to do what they do. He has also been signed to do a TV talk show and he will receive a bonus if it is the first one done from a prison cell. In a call, he assured us that the fix is in, there will be a technicality problem in his prosecution and he will only have to do the show from prison for a short time and then will move into a TV studio in Chicago to do the Blago Show. When asked what he thought all the negative publicity would do for his popularity, he categorically denied being a wrong-doer and pointed away and yelled, “Look! Barry Bonds, A-Rod--steroids.”

©2009 Eric Stamets